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 Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
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 Message-ID: &lt;53198asstr$1141193401@assm.asstr.org&gt;
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From: f.aces@idonthavea.domain.name (f.  aces)
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X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 09:18:48 GMT
Subject: {ASSM} Vox {f.  aces} (nosex)
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Date: Wed, 01 Mar 2006 01:10:01 -0500
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   Dear reader,

   The following is heavily dependent upon the width of the page and the
use of a fixed-width font.  Lack of these will render it even more
incomprehensible than my usual scribblings.  Should this come
ill-formatted, an HTML version has been prepared which should suit all.
http://www.asstr.org/~f.aces/vox.html

   I remain, f.  aces

   Editorial/Moderator note: This is formatted, when leaving the moderation
center, the way f.  aces' website is.  In email to me, he says: "There's
partially a trick to reading it, but part of the point IS that it's
near-incomprehensible.  The story is about how we feel about sex, and by
"we" I mean everyone.  At once."

   So, reading this one takes effort.  I've found f.  aces' writing to be
worth some effort.  -denny(moderator)

  
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------------------

   Vox by Publicus Sextus

   Desire to have her naked upon my bed.  To see her, sweat -drenched and
fearful.  Fear as my wife and love and all, the smell of her filling of the
pain I might inflict.  swept me from the the room, invading my eyes and
mouth.  Do you know what it is to moment I laid my She and I would love
like we had before.  hurt the one you love?  eyes upon her, Before all this
trouble between her and me.  Deliberately and slowly.  I love it.  though I
did Before infidelity and misfortune tore us apart.  not know to Things
were better before, you know.  Now I'm a lonely girl, all by myself.  call
it old man, with you taken away from me.  But I still lust.  We couldn't
marry, and that When I was younger, I thought that the elderly didn't maybe
if we had been able to then.  feel that way about each other.  Didn't lust.
she would've stayed with me.  We could've

   It's not so much that we don't feel that way as had a child together,
and she wouldn't that what we feel is so much richer than before.  have run
off with him.  The smell of old bodies, it's who we are - and we The boys
here at the

   love just the same.  It's the joy of being married orphanage have found
I for all these years.  Maybe I'll write it in my memoirs, out about
masturbatbelieve just another old man who lost his love, and went to ion,
and I fear that God put us look for life out here in the jungle. 
Hemmingway, yes.  their obsession with here to love privacy and self-saour
neighbors It's a sin, you know.  We are all born from this original
tisfaction will bring as ourselves, and sin of sex.  Lust.  It surrounds us
and eats into us.  its concommitant quawho are you to say It halts our
communion with god.  Sin.  Why must our rrelling over the althat God does
not carnal desires compel us to fornication and the sin ready close
quarters.  love each and every of Onan?  Yea, though we know the right and
the wrong one of us?  He forgives of things.  Though we know the plan set
forth for us, even though it is us our sins, and asks we miss the mark.  We
go astray.  made clear to us from the outset.  Even us to forgive others
How can we become better vessels I have trouble.  I look with lust upon of
theirs.  I am for your will, O lord?  Tell me, I beg.  other men.  It is my
private shame.  Thjust a poor sinner, ough I try, I cannot help my and I
refuse to I was 15 when I attraction to my own sex.  adulterous thoughts. I
love take upon myself first knew what Women, whom you have chosen my
husband, but still these the mantle of to call myself.  as the proper
companion for thoughts consume me!  God's judgeship.  I am gay.  You me, do
not hold my interest.

   should give no thought I am so sorry, Lord.  Help me be strong.  I think
it was to this, any more than me saying in August when I "I have brown
eyes." Something for you to notice, maybe.  decided to date Lucielle.  We
met Perhaps for us to tell jokes about, as my friend.  I do not in secret
at first, tender kisses of ask that you accept it about me, any more than I
ask that fire that would light up the night sky you accept my brown eyes
and hair.  around us, leaving only the world of her I am gay.  I drive a
Miata.  I work at an insurance and me.  My white skin glowing in her black
company.  embrace.  I left her in June, out of cowardice.  I am 28, and in
love.  I hope you'll like him when you meet him.  I hear she's somewhere,
doing well.  Your approval means so much to me, dad.  I knew you'd love
him! I remember '62 as our time of love, as you are my best friend.  he
hasn't asked me to marry him, yet.  hot with the youth of the Georgia sun.

   I remember her walking away rejection hot upon her lips - echoing still
in my head.  Fear and cold grabbed my lips.  I couldn't believe I'd just
broken up my heart.  Punching me in the gut.  Unexpected?  Yes.  Sure, with
the girl of my dreams, but things really just weren't working out.  there
were signs, but - you know It's funny how your dreams aren't always what
they seem.  - you never really seem to know until it's there.

   And I'll always remember the way she looked in that sweater.

   -- f.  aces More at http://www.asstr.org/~f.aces/

   -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all
rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. 
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